Breakdown
by Lioness002
Summary: Gwen seemed to feel nothing at the end of the episode "Forge of Creation" so lets see what she was hiding. How did Gwen react to Kevin's sudden leave? "No matter what it took, I would save Kevin. No matter what." R&R Please!


**This is just going to be quick story getting into Gwen's head after the horror and heart break of Kevin's return to the 'dark side.' Personally I think she really, really underacted to the whole thing, she didn't even look phased. So here is after the battle where all the true emotions will be shown. Hope you enjoy! :) –I Own Nothing –Lioness002**

**...**

I was numb, I felt nothing, everything and everyone around me went by in swirls, disappearing like mist in the morning. Their words meant nothing to me but I nodded accordingly making them believe I was listening, but I really wasn't. All I could think or feel was, "He's gone."

I shook my head trying to shake away the tears on the brink of falling. Ben and I were still alone waiting for Paradox to send us back home to Earth. Ben was silent and observing the wreckage of the Rustbucket from the fight. I sat on the starry floor of the Alien X hands, the baby Alien X was still safely tucked away in it's little cocoon. I sighed and looked toward the sky sadly. Nothing. From behind me I heard foot steps.

"I'm sorry, Gwen," came Ben's voice. Out of the corner of my eye I saw him sit next to me on the ground. I nodded tartly and downcast my eyes to the shining floor. There was an awkward silence before Ben said something else, "So, um, Paradox said he would be back in a few minutes, he had to go take my younger self back to the past and erase his memory."

"Kay," I answered glumly. I heard Ben take a shaky breath about to speak again but I cut him off, "If this has anything to do with Kevin, just stop."

"But-"

"Ben, I said don't. I don't want to hear it right now." I said standing up and walking away. I clenched and unclenched my fists, a trait I had gotten from Kevin when he was angry. I wanted to scream, it was so unfair, why was it always Kevin? How was it possible that I didn't feel like he was a villain? He was a villain now, but why didn't I want to fight him? "Because you like him," I thought stupidly. "Not even that, I didn't just like him, I loved him." I thought as I stepped through the huge hole in the Rustbucket and walked over to my seat. "Relax, Gwen, you just need some time to think this out." Ben walked in a few minutes later and sat in his seat as well.

I stared blankly at Kevin's seat, it was just another constant reminder that he wasn't here. That he was somewhere confused and hurt. It killed me to think he was alone right now when he really need friends. when we could help him get better, not worse. He was always stubborn in that way, never wanting to show weakness. I drummed my fingers patiently while waiting for Paradox to show up. Aggregor had been apprehended thanks to Kevin so he had been taken away by Paradox to who knows where.

"You know we have to go after him," Ben finally managed to say. I nodded but kept quiet.

Even if I wanted to hurt him, which I didn't, there wouldn't be a way. My manna couldn't affect him even if I wanted it to. A few seconds later Paradox arrived.

"Hello everyone, we must be off, don't want to be off schedule."

I didn't move a muscle as Paradox teleported us home. The second we were home I stood up and walked out of the Rustbucket. I heard Ben calling out to me but I ignored him, I was in to much pain.

I didn't want to see anyone when I got home. My mother and father greeted me cheerily when I arrived home, but I blew them off and when straight upstairs and slammed my door. I wanted to be alone. It took all of my energy to make it to my bed before I collapsed in excruciating pain. It felt like my heart had been ripped out and put through a blender. Nothing was the same and nothing would ever be the same again.

I had lost the love of my life. People say at this age you don't understand love, but I do, Kevin was my soul-mate, we were two puzzle pieces that fit together perfectly. He was my glue, he kept me going when it was impossible odds, he held me together. Now, I was falling apart.

I was broken and only one thing could fix me, Kevin. I needed him to tell me that it was going to be alright, that this had never happened, that it was just a bad dream, that he would always be there for me no matter what. I clutched myself together and folded into a giant ball. Sobs racked and tore through my body leaving nothing but pain and grief. I had lost him after what had felt like such a little amount of time. It wasn't fair.

I slowly grabbed the locket that's permanent home was around my neck, I could feel Kevin's mana, but it wasn't the same, it was stained and blackened. I bit my lip hard to keep from screaming out in anguish but I could feel the coppery taste of blood in my mouth. I heard my parents outside my door but I didn't care.

"GO AWAY!" I screeched in pure agony. I had never felt this magnitude of pain before, no one probably had. I was unstable and had lost control, I had nothing in my life to hold onto now, I loved my friends and family but Kevin was my everything.

When my parents tried to open the door I turned on them like a wild animal. "I SAID LEAVE!" I screamed throwing an alarm clock at the door and nodding in approval at the sound of shattering glass. I stood and looked around the room, how could it be so clean and the same when I was feeling like a disaster? "We'll have to change that," I thought violently.

I walked over to my desk and pushed everything off, my papers, books, and even computer. The computer crashed to the floor smashing the screen and sending out shards of glass. My books lay across the floor, pages bent and sloppily thrown, my papers were torn and crumpled up thrown wherever. I did the same thing with everything else in the room. I could sense my parents fear from downstairs as they heard crash after crash. I walked into my bathroom and grabbed a brushed and hurled it at my large mirror as hard as I could with an animalistic sream. The glass didn't completely break but fractured. I gazed at myself and saw a hundred different Gwen's.

"I need Kevin." I thought walking back to my room and falling on the floor to cry again. "KEVIN!" I wailed not caring if my parents, neighbors, or even the whole block heard. They should all know I'm suffering. Maybe for once someone besides Kevin should suffer pain. He didn't deserve it, he never did. He was so misunderstood. I grabbed my locket from around my neck again and opened it to reveal the picture of Kevin and I at the pier. I slowly ran my finger across Kevin, he looked so happy and so did I. We were meant to be together no matter what happened. Kevin was still in there somewhere and I had to get him back.

Ben arrived a few hours later with wide and surprisingly red eyes. He had been crying too it seemed. He held me while I cried.

"Don't worry, Gwen, we'll get him back." Ben said to me over and over. But for once I believed him, because this time no matter what it took, I would save Kevin. No matter what.

**...**

**I actually have nothing left to say, I'm drained. Please review if you feel my pain for the loss of our dearly loved Kevin. –Lioness002**


End file.
